If you’re in the world of business and interested in personal development, chances are you’ve heard of coaching. Over the years, personalities like Tony Robbins, Stephen Covey, or Bob Proctor have become recognizable household names in the field, and for good reason: they have some absolutely amazing content. But what if you want to hire someone for individual coaching, one-on-one? How do you know who to hire? How do you even know if coaching is right for you? Certainly, you can appreciate great content from afar and then realize that what you needed was just a good consultant or a therapist.
In the realm of personal development coaching, there are a few distinctions that are worth familiarizing yourself with before you choose a coach or even decide whether coaching is for you. Here are a few of them to get you started on your journey.
The “Official” Definition of Coaching
Before you decide whether coaching is right for you, it’s helpful to understand what it is…and what it is NOT. As with any good discussion of a topic, it’s best to start with the official definition of coaching. The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines coaching as
Partnering with clients in a though-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential…
Official Definition of Coaching Internal Coaching Federation (ICF)
To be fair, that definition is pretty good for those who are already in the field and have an understanding of it. But for those who are investigating or considering coaching for the first time, it leaves a lot to the imagination. You’re still left wondering, practically speaking, “What does a coach do? How do they ‘partner’ with me? What should I expect out of a coaching session?” and as a result, you liken coaching to the next most relatable things you’re familiar with, generally consulting, therapy, and/or mentoring. This is both inaccurate and not entirely wrong. If that’s confusing, then you’re on the right track.
What Coaching is Not
To understand how coaching is distinct from consulting, therapy, and mentoring, it’s important to identify what those three things are and how coaching is distinct from them.
Consulting is focused on creating a solution; someone comes in, identifies or is presented with a problem, and then proceeds to solve that problem for you. A coach does not create a solution for you. This is where the “partnering” comes into play. A coach’s job is to co-create a solution, and if anything, the solution should come from you, the client. If a coach is giving you the answer to something or coming up with a plan for you, it’s less coaching and more consulting. There’s nothing wrong with this approach, and it’s important to understand that it is not coaching.
Therapy is focused on uncovering and delving into the past and the genesis of what you are, how you think and feel, and what experiences shaped who you are and how you see the world. Coaching instead focuses on the here and the now and how to take what you have and who you are and move into the future. With a strong focus on your goal(s) for the future, a coach will meet you where you are and help you to do the same with yourself so that you can plan for and build towards a future.
Mentoring is typically done by someone who is in the same field as you and has extensive experience in that field. It’s focused around advice and teaching, in some form or another. Many coaches can act as mentors when they have been in the same field as the person they are coaching. They can provide insights into best practices and methods, but not all coaches are able to do this, and sometimes there’s a benefit to that. Being in the same field as another person certainly has its perks, and it also can sometimes result in a limited range of thinking. The benefit of having a coach who is not in your field might be that you are opened up to a new perspective, which more often than not is a huge plus.
The image below is a representation of the relationship between coaching, therapy, mentoring, and consulting. The blurry edges of the circles are intentional, as there are often blurred lines between these approaches to client services.
The Relationship Between Coaching, Consulting, Mentoring, and Therapy
Coaching is an amorphous amalgam of things and can involve some, a lot, or none of each of them, depending on who is doing the coaching and your actual goals and needs as a client. It’s important to keep this in mind when working with a coach because that is what will differentiate a good coach from a bad one: the ability to not get locked into a “one-size-fits-all” approach to your development.
The fact of the matter is that true, practical coaching is difficult to define. The way a coach interacts with a client is something that is dependent on many factors, including the relationship and rapport between the coach and the client, the client’s actual needs, and the coach’s style. Because of that, the best way to understand coaching is to avoid defining it formally and to think of it in terms of its principles: curiosity, partnership, focus on the client, and focus on the present and the future. A good coach will operate with these things in mind and will take the position of true curiosity about their client to listen closely, partner with them to determine their strengths and areas for improvement, and then help them focus their energy on their current state and how best to get to their desired future state.
How Do I Choose a Coach for Myself?
It’s important to know what factors to pay attention to and consider when choosing a coach for yourself. It can be a bit tricky, given that the client-coach relationship is so unique and deep. Here are a few qualifying questions to ask yourself when making your selection from a range of coaches.
How do you feel after speaking with them?
What kind of connection do you feel with them?
How are you being listened to?
What is their personal philosophy on life and how does it connect to and align with yours?
If you’re curious about why these questions have nothing to do with the coach’s qualifications, certifications, or work experience, go ahead and check out our other blog post, How to Choose the Best Coach for You. There, the whole gamut of questions and considerations are discussed, including some ways to spot coaches who might not have your best interests at heart.
If you’re interested in coaching or want to find out more, schedule a consult with Nayan Leadership to find out how we can help you on your leadership journey.
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