When choosing a coach, it’s important to know what to expect out of a good coach, and it’s important to at least have an idea of what you are looking to work on and/or work towards. The truth of the matter is that there are many good coaches out there who would be able to get you the results you’re looking for. There are also unfortunately a lot of bad ones out there, ruining the reputation of good coaches and coaching as a profession. Some red flags of a bad coach might include
- Talking about fees way too soon – This one is a bit of an obvious one. If your prospective coach wants to discuss fees before you even have a discussion about your goals, who you are, and how you might work together, that’s a huge red flag. A good coach would want to investigate and determine if they would even be the best person to help you at all before bringing up fees. Even if you are the first to bring it up, a good coach would likely shift the focus from fees to goals and your stories and then get back to fees at a later time once the two of you have determined that you want to work together.
- Offering advice up front – Advice can be a very good thing, particularly when it’s coming from someone who knows what they are talking about. As discussed in the blog post about the definition of coaching, however, advice is something that isn’t part of traditional coaching, and if your prospective coach starts out by giving advice, they are focusing on the problem and not on you. The focus of any good coach will be on you as the client, what makes you tick, who you are as an individual, and examining your personal philosophy to help you grow and develop into the leader you want to be. A coach who focuses primarily on the problem at hand and ignores the larger considerations isn’t focused on you.
- Not listening to you – If there’s one thing that is the hallmark of coaching, it’s listening. A good coach would most likely spend a majority of their time being quiet. If you find that your coach is talking more than you other than when answering your questions, there’s likely a problem. A good coach will be focused on asking you questions about yourself, your beliefs, your experiences, and your goals; after all, this is your time. A good coach might offer anecdotal insights here and there, and will certainly offer observations or mention feelings, but they will never monopolize the conversation.
- Difficulty scheduling sessions – Working with a coach is something that should be a priority for both the coach and the client. If your prospective coach seems too busy for you, if it’s difficult to get a hold of them, or if their schedule seems to always be full, then either they aren’t good at managing their time, their clients aren’t a priority for them, or they are playing games to appear in higher demand than they are. Any of the above is not acceptable, and for a coach, being “in demand” is not something that necessarily makes them the best coach for you. That will be explored a little more in the next section.
So now that you know some red flags to look for when ruling out coaches, it’s time to talk about what makes a coach good for you.
When evaluating whether a coach is good for you or not, everyone has their own criteria of what they are comfortable with. The one thing that you cannot compromise on when choosing who will be your coach, however, is fit. Fit is something that isn’t often talked about and is of the utmost importance when selecting a coach. It’s more about your own needs being met rather than checking boxes of what others might recommend or prefer. If a friend recommends a coach to you, that’s great, but unless your friend shares your outlook on life, many of your philosophies, and a majority of your belief system and values, that doesn’t mean they will be a good coach for you. You have to evaluate fit for yourself.
Here are a few questions to help you assess your fit with a particular coach:
- How do you feel after speaking with them?
- What kind of connection do you feel with them?
- How are you being listened to?
- What are their values?
- What is their personal philosophy on life and how does it connect to and align with yours?
Notice that in the suggested list of questions, none of them deal with a coach’s content expertise, professional history, or certifications. That’s because those things don’t relate to coaching and relate more to mentoring or consulting (for a discussion of the differences between mentoring, coaching, consulting, and therapy, see the post entitled, What in the World is “Coaching” Anyway?). Sure it might give you some peace of mind to have a coach who is an MCC (Master Certified Coach) with certifications in 8 different assessments and 3 different 360 reviews, but does that mean that you will feel comfortable talking to them about your beliefs in spirituality and how you see the world? Does that mean their approach to mindfulness will appeal to you? Not necessarily.
Coaching is a very intimate and personal affair, and it requires you to be extremely, sometimes uncomfortably honest, both with yourself and your coach. The work you do with a coach is going to be more about you as a person and human being and your view of the world than it will be about your work or specific issues you’re facing at your job. Certainly, you can have a preference for someone who knows more about your particular area of expertise. Just know that it will not affect their ability to be an excellent coach to you. Two coaches both with identical certifications, accolades, and degrees, both from the same schools, and both with identical experience could show up completely differently as coaches if their views of the world are different. The reason for this is because what they notice, pay attention to, and the questions they ask will all be very different. That is what makes the difference between a good coach for you and one that’s not so great.
Another thing worth noticing is that the choice of words is important. Notice that it is “a good coach for you” and not just “a good coach.” Just because philosophies or ways of seeing the world are different doesn’t mean that a coach is bad. It just means they may not fit as well into your paradigm of the world. This is distinct from the red flags of a bad coach mentioned above because a bad coach is not focused on the client, but on their own issues, and as a result, they would not be able to actually help anyone.
So that all being said, what are some questions you still have about finding the right coach for you? Hopefully you feel better equipped than when you started reading this blog post.
If you’re interested in coaching or want to find out more, schedule a consult with Nayan Leadership to find out how we can help you on your leadership journey.
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