Whether you are at home or work, with family or strangers, or simply going from a meeting with your supervisor to one with your direct reports, your role can switch from moment to moment, meeting to meeting, and place to place. These adaptations make up your Contextual Identity. Unlike your Absolute Identity, your Contextual Identity is malleable, and you can make choices about how you want to appear and interact with others. Taking an active role in shaping your Contextual Identity can improve your relationships, your contributions to a team and your successes both personally and professionally.
Taking Stock of Your Setting
To have a greater say in your Contextual Identity, you need to begin by recognizing that you do not have control over the external factors, only yourself. This doesn’t mean that you can’t change your situation, but first you need to reflect and mindfully engage with it. Ask yourself what external factors are impacting your life in the moment. Are you working, parenting or being a friend? Is money an issue or are you concerned about professional success? Specifically, what about your situation is beyond your control? Observe to identify norms, and then you can reflect on these external factors to assess if you do, can or even want them in your life.
Assessing Where You Fit Into Your Situation
Every day we play many roles, and we change how we behave in each one. As a pet owner, you might use baby talk or issue absolute directives – but you probably wouldn’t do this at a business lunch. With a healthy Contextual Identity, you speak, you dress, you act, and you even think differently depending on the situation. This adaptability to environment or relationships is a sign of good emotional intelligence. Being conscious of the role you play in each context can help you evaluate whether you are being effective and whether your circumstances are right for you.
3 Questions to Guide You
With an awareness of your context and the role you are play in it, you can explore your options.
What do I want to do? As you explore your Contextual Identity, you can ask yourself whether you are in a place or circumstance that is right for you. Exploring what you want to do can give you incentive to make changes in your job, your relationships or some other part of your life to be in greater sync with your Absolute Identity. These changes could be big or small. For example, in your professional context, you could look for a new job, seek a promotion, or consider a different approach and attitude towards your existing position.
What am I able to do? You go for a job interview, and you are given the opportunity to observe the dynamics of the team you might join. Is it a good fit? Can you assume the role that seems to be asked of you? You need to make an honest assessment of your skills and experience as well as where you are in your life. As an introvert, could you take on a highly social role? You also need to make a realistic assessment of your situation. A recent college graduate working in a Fortune 500 company can’t expect an immediate promotion to a C Suite position. Being realistic about your abilities and the limits of your situation can help you decide whether you want change.
What am I willing to do? Willingness is a question of morality, incentive and sacrifice. Making any choice about your situation will necessarily involve letting go of other choices. As you assess your Contextual Identity, and you make conscious decisions about how you choose to be, you need to make peace with your choices. That can only happen if you are clear on your limits.
Bringing these three questions together will allow you to be intentional about your Contextual Identity. Awareness does not alter the external elements that are beyond your control, but it empowers you to engage with your life proactively. Your ability to adapt to different circumstances can improve and you can increase your satisfaction with your role.Are you satisfied with where you are in your life right now? If you are questioning your choices and your situation, you can go deeper by becoming aware of your Contextual Identity. Nayan Leadership can work with you on these tough questions. Contact us for a consultation today.
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